Black and White

I doubt,I fear,I hesitate
I question God,I question fate.
I struggle in moments of despair,
Nothing seems right, Nothing seems fair.

This could have been a better place, a better time,
Is this all there is, the 'sum' of my life?

Questions without answers,
So much of life in a blur.

Surrounded by darkness,
I am tempted to give in,
Until I see it,
That which is meant to be.

Beyond the horizon,
Where the Sun and Earth meet,
I can see my place in destiny.

Precious

Precious,
Silence after the Noise
Dawn after Night
Soul Stirring Music
A Hug after a Fight

Precious,
Tears of Joy
Having no Regrets
Pouring Rain after a Hot Summer Day,
Your Baby's Smile after a Hard Day

Precious,
Being Loved
Words of Comfort
Friends in Times of Need
Happy Memories

Precious, Just Being Alive to witness another Beautiful Day!

Artistically Blessed...

The other day I was listening to old MJ songs and watching some of his videos and it hit me, again, that he was just SO outrageously talented! Of course, he was one of those 'born once in a million years' kind of an artist, but this is not about him.

It's about what he represented, an extraordinary gift.

There are artists that have unimaginable talent and creativity. I'm so in awe of them! Of course, I believe that destiny determines whether they are successful or not,but just the fact they are immensely blessed is what gets me.
Have you not heard soul-stirring music and wondered how this magic of creation happens? If it's not divine intervention every time a masterpiece is created, then what is it?

If you have the gift of arts, please don't let it go waste, give it all you've got. Even though you may not be lucky enough to get successful at it, stay with your craft, it's your special something from God.

In Defense of Parents

Probably the most important job in the whole world is..Parenting. Not to pressure those who are on their way to becoming new parents, but it's really true. Well..when you're getting married you think that's going to be a toughie..but the moment you become a parent..everything else marraige,career seems like a cakewalk.
As if it's not tough enough, we make it more so, by being hard on ourselves, especially us Moms, 'Did i get it right'? the perennial thought on our minds.

Which brings me to the question..is parenting an Art, a Science or a Gift? Do some people just make better parents or are they 'born with it'? Or, do you get good at it ( like preparing for an exam) if you work hard enough?
Whatever it is, I'm sure all of us try our absolute best in every way possible and thats what matters.

Because, there are others who will make you feel like a klutz , judging you, monitoring every milestone your kid should reach ( oh..isn't she crawling yet?, she must be talking by now! etc.), why inflict the same misery on yourself.
To all the Moms and Dads out there, whenever you are haunted by the thought 'Am I a good parent?', just dismiss it and give yourself more credit for doing an absolutely terrific job at raising your beautiful children.

To Dad, With Love

Dear Dad,

Today is Father's Day. I find myself being particularly melancholy about it this year. Probably because it's a big thing here in the US; I suddenly miss you more than ever.

I wish I had a pensieve (as used by Dumbledore to capture memories in the Harry Potter series) so that I could see every little memory of ours anytime. I just hate the fact that I don't remember anything about my childhood,when you were around me.

Whenever I listen to good music, I remember you...I close my eyes and imagine that we are listening to it together. I feel connected to you in that moment, I know you loved music a lot. What I miss the most is just talking to you and having you around me. I'm curious to know..do you miss me up there in Heaven? Anyway, I know you are with me in spirit at all times, whether happy or sad.

Happy Father's Day, Dad! I love you.

Love,

Your Daughter

Manhattan Mania

After everything that has been said about New York City, I would still like to add my insignificant bit to it. Consider this a personal tribute to a city that brings out the best in most of us.
The first time I stepped into Manhattan about 4 years ago, I felt intimidated,awed,excited all at the same time. Those feelings are a constant,no matter how many times I've been there, I just never get bored of the it.

The skyscrapers, a witness to the genius that lies within us. The culture, an eclectic mix from all over the world. The pace, so addictive, it can make the laziest human being feel like running a marathon! The mood, always upbeat, my recommendation to combat depression, a walk down the streets of downtown manhattan..!!
The fashion, deserves a special mention. The आम आदमी is the trend-setter, always well put together, never trying too hard. The self-confidence of a New Yorker reflects in what he wears, unafraid to wear vanity on his sleeve.

There's all this and much more to love about this amazing city, but what I adore the most is the emotions it arouses in me,those of ambitiousness,hope and a sense that eventually,everything will be allright.

Life...Interrupted

दिल ढूँढता है , फिर वही फुर्सत के रात दिन
बैठे रहे तसव्वुरे - जाना किए हुए

As I am attending to Avni who's 2 1/2 , while Ariv, who's 11 months, is pulling at my leg, these beautiful lines penned by Gulzar come to my mind. I have never related to them as much as I do now, as a mom of two kids under the age of 3!

Come to think of it, when was the last time I did anything uninterrupted(apart from the time when both of them are asleep, which only happens at night!) I'm so used to these interruptions now that I navigate through them as if on auto-pilot.

How I miss those times when I could wake up at any hour, read a book for as long as I wished, watch movies(in a multiplex) and basically just go anywhere, anytime.
But just as I am lamenting the total lack of time, Ariv gives me a toothy smile, Avni hugs me...and I say a small prayer, to thank God for these precious interruptions.

i-disconnect

The other day I had taken the subway close to the end of work hours, it was rush hour, the train pulled up at the 33rd St. station and in a split second I was surrounded by 'robot' like humans, their eyes glued to their 'Blackberry'. Every few seconds, they looked down upon it, as if, by checking it that frequently, messages would suddenly appear by magic.
Right at that moment, my mind travelled into the future, filled up with images of gadget touting, headphone wearing people going about their business without a single spoken word...scary!
I wondered, was the art of conversation dying??

'Staying Connected' started with e-mail, moved on to 'chat',video chat,blogs and then a whole host of revolutionary sites like the Youtube,Facebook,Myspace came up, the most recent one being Twitter.

It's all great, but somehow I get the feeling that as we engage via these means, we are yet so disconnected from each other. Don't all of us at some point or the other resort to sending an e-mail, rather than picking up the phone or meeting up? It's so much more uncomplicated when there's no one to answer you back in real-time. Each one of us is retreating into a bubble, enslaved by gadgets and cutting edge technology.

Let technology be a means to an end.
The next time you're on your computer/blackberry/iphone, take a moment to talk, to hug, to smile, to 'connect'.

Moment of Truth

A long time back when I was working on my first job, I came across the term 'Moment of Truth' at a customer service training seminar .
It's defined as the instance of contact or interaction between a customer and a firm that gives the customer an opportunity to form (or change) an impression about the firm .

Although this is the technical definition of the term, to me, it simply means, interactions with complete strangers that warm your heart. Small acts of kindness, a few courteous words, that touch your heart and stay with you long after.
I've encountered several such 'moments' during my stay here in the USA.

Here I was, trying to enter my apartment building, with several shopping bags in one hand and pushing a double stroller with the other, dreading the thought of getting through the double doors when some one on the other side, held the doors open for me. It's a gesture that we take for granted but at that instant, it was a moment of truth for me.
Then there's another one when my husband and I went to apply for my daughter's passport at the Post Office and the clerk was so gracious and polite. She was appreciative of my new baby and to top it all also gave her a coloring book and a box of crayons! This came as a huge surprise to me especially because, in India, one dreads going to the Post Office.
There were numerous moments of truth at the hospital where I gave birth to my two children. Every nurse that attended to me did so with a smile on her face, the baby was taken care of beautifully and the whole staff actually hugged me when I left the hospital ! Who has tears in their eyes when leaving a hospital, well, I did!

My life is enriched each day by moments of truth, I'm sure yours is too. Care to share some?